Iced by Yetis Origin Story

A foolhardy adventure? Maybe.

A needlessly dangerous excursion? Possibly.

The fever dream of a New York City office bro? Probably?

The last chance for a set of hopeless romantics to prove their self-worth in a most irrational way? Most assuredly.

It may have been all of these things or none of them, but what is certain is that our decision to spend a spring traveling with the Yeti during their annual migration from their winter home in the tunnels of the Moscow Metro (Arbatsko-Pokrovskaya Line) to the Finnish Laplands was one that would forever shape goodr.

The success of the whole trip was dependent upon whether or not we could convincingly perform the ceremonial preparation and presentation of the yeti-Brännvin, the famous and traditional alcoholic drink of the Yetis. Up to that point, all who had tried to perform the yeti-Brännvin ceremony had failed and had been sent away in humiliation as the Yetis guffawed at their fumbling attempts.

But through nefarious means of which we are not proud, we had acquired a secret that had been all but lost to history; a secret that would allow us to accurately perform the yeti-Brännvin ceremony.

While most every child learns of the Yetis during their formative years, what is less known is that the famous Russian svengali Grigori Rasputin was once a trusted advisor and confidant of the Yetis. However, in typical Rasputin fashion, one evening after a wild Yeti-party, Rasputin stole the recipe of the yeti-Brännvin from the chief Yeti. Rasputin kept this recipe secret until he lost it gambling after losing a game of Monopoly to a gentleman by the name of Pyotr Arsenievich Smirnov, the founder of the Smirnoff vodka distillery.

After acquiring the yeti-Brännvin recipe, Pyotr Smirnov quickly realized the commercial potential of the drink and went on to mass produce yeti-Brännvin. And the name under which they marketed yeti-Brännvin? Why, it was none other than Smirnoff Ice.

This secret knowledge in hand, we approached the Yetis, each with a Smirnoff Ice in hand. Stopping about 10 feet in front of the largest congregation of Yetis, we quickly sank to a single knee, produced the Smirnoff Ices from behind our backs and proceeded to expertly consume the beverages as quickly as we could manage. Upon lowering the bottles from our lips, it was clear that we had succeeded.

The months with the Yetis following the icing would lay the groundwork for many subsequent accomplishments, both by goodr and the Yetis. It is a small token of our appreciation that we named these sunglasses after this most epic of adventures.